Entry 15: People Come and People Go

...but some stay forever.
Even if it's not physically.

While having lunch today (and I'm not quite sure what brought it on) I was thinking about that time 8 Earth years ago, when I got my elbow sprained. I was taken to a hospital with a name I don't recall and I was waiting outside a room to get my elbow X-rayed. I'm not sure what I looked like, in terms of the emotions I might have been projecting. I was in pain, I was tired and I had been crying.

There was this lady who sat next to me, waiting to be called in to the Sports Injuries office. She started a conversation; she asked me why I was here (and I told her through my hiccups) and she told me about herself; she told me that she was new to city and that she was here for work. She told me that loved playing rugby and that while she was playing, she got herself injured pretty badly. She showed me her leg (and I gasped because it was badly bruised) and then she asked me why I was here, and how old I was. I also vaguely remember asking her how old she was, and she asked me how old I thought she might have been; I think I said, "Maybe twenties?" and she laughed. She was older (I don't remember what she said, but I do remember telling her she didn't look that old). She then told me how brave I was, right after which I was called in.

I only realized how kind she was being and how she was trying to not have me think about my elbow after I went in. Once I came out, I wanted to thank her and tell her that I'd like to be friends, and I wanted to ask her what her name was, but when I did come back, she wasn't there anymore.

Thinking back, I know it worried me that she wasn't there, and I know it gave me a sad feeling to not have been able to say goodbye properly or to not have at least followed up on her blue-yelllow-red leg injury, and I never got to thank her, and quite honestly, it still makes me sad. It haunts me sometimes.

I'm really glad she was there. I was too young to realize how kind she was being, but now that I look back, I understand. I wish that I can be that kind one day to some kid sitting alone and sad somewhere.

I don't know where she is now.
I haven't left the city. I'm still here, and I can tell you what all I've been upto in all this time. But I do want to know what happened to her. Where is she now? What did she do after she got injured? Was she able to play again? Is she married? Does she have children? Did she go back home?
She haunts me in a strange way, and I feel like I could never really repay her for how kind and sweet she was to me that dark day.

Wherever she is, and whatever she is doing, I hope she is well. I hope she remembers the sad kid in the hospital once in a while and I hope she realizes how benign she was to me.

It's really strange, because this is just one clear memory I have amongst a flurry of conflict and confusion that was the 6th grade. This is the one clear memory I have, and it always comes with a strong sense of nostalgia and affection for that lady. The whole thing must have lasted around 15 minutes but I will always carry this moment with me. I don't know what makes it so special, more special than all the other things, and so special that I always set it out from the rest. People are always so kind to another, it hurts. I wish we could see stuff like that everyday, though.

God bless you, kind lady.
And I hope your leg got better, and that you got to play loads of Rugby games afterwards.

Entry 14: The Signs of Life

"Have you ever looked up at the sky and wondered about how far away, and yet so close the stars look?

Have you ever thought about the possibility that at that very same moment, someone else, on another star altogether, might be looking at your planet, as a speck in the night sky, and wonder the same?
It's incredible. I think it's always important to remember how delicate we are and how small we are in the grand scheme of things, because it really puts everything in perspective....

All your scars are signs of life. Each time you fall, you must remember that you are alive, you are here and you are capable of so much. Every time you listen to music which makes you dance, every time you watch a movie which makes you laugh, or read a book  that makes you cry, and every time you look up to the sky, you must remember that you are alive. Every breath you take, and every heartbeat; you are alive, and the world is full of wonderful strangeness.

And all of it can come crashing down, all in the blink of an eye. An asteroid could destroy everything and everyone. What can stop it, honestly? All that protects you from here and the Great Beyond is a blanket of air. That’s it. 

It doesn’t have to be an asteroid. You could slip on a banana peel and accidentally brake your skull, it could be a car crash or a pebble falling from an aircraft (far-fetched? Maybe). You could die from a heart-attack or a heat stroke or by just standing in the sun for too long on the planet Gormundy. And all of this is just a few of the billions of ways you could possible off yourself.

I’m not trying to scare you. All I’m saying is that you are here, you are solid, you are alive… but you are fragile and weak and no matter how hard you try, you are here only for a fleeting moment of time.

So live.

Go out there, and live.

Make your fragile life count, for yourself.

This moment, and your time here, no matter how fleeting for the Universe, is your entire lifetime. Live for yourself, and don’t waste it on someone else’s terms. Stop waiting for people and things and the ‘right time.’ Because you are fragile, and you are not forever, but you are here now and that’s all that matters. The world is big, and strange, and terrible, and promising, and it's all yours."

That's an excerpt from 'Why I Like to Travel,' written by one of my favourite authors (and the person who got me started into aiming for the stars, literally) from back home, Rula Tyvahna, the Thirty-Third. Bless her.

I think it's wonderful how Earthlings share similar sources of inspiration. I think it is primarily the realization that we're not going to be here forever that really gets people going, and that really sets people into wanting to achieve greatness (because they would like to outlive everyone and everything) and also sets people into slowing down and just observing. The difference between these two people also shows that, essentially, there are two ways people can react to things. The active way, and the passive way. Both are destined for greatness, and both are destined for doom.

Filler Post: A Poem

Here's a poem till I find more anecdotes to write about/draw inspiration from. I call it, 'Worthy.' It's cliched, I guess, but I don't do poetry and it is most definitely not my thing. So please do not judge with too harsh an eye.

Worthy

We choose to cover ourselves in things

Flowers and scars and pain and paint

When time and time again

We seem to forget

A sum that is greater than all of its parts.

I have a friend who thinks she isn’t worth her mother’s love

And another friend who thinks her lover will never love her back

Why is love so glorified all the time?

It isn’t, it is not.

You are what you love, and not who loves you.

I choose to cover myself in words

And yet, I’m covered in flowers and scars and pain and paint

Just like everyone else

Till next time, sons and daughters of Earth.